I miss the look I could give you and you knew what I was thinking. You could do the same to me, even in a room full of people.
I miss having our places. I miss when we would go out, but didn’t need a discussion because we already knew the plan. It was always the same. I miss the thrill of the adventure when we attempted to do something different.
I miss our songs. The ones we would request regardless of how many times we heard them. Sometimes I hear them and smile. Sometimes I hear them and cry.
I miss being in a large group of people, but knowing I didn’t need to compete with any of them. It was so easy to just be me when we were together.
I miss never having to think about who I needed to call when s*** hit the fan or when I had incredible news that needed to be celebrated. I long to know the good and the bad in your life and be the person you vent to, but I know that’s no longer who I am.
I miss the wardrobes that weren’t mine or yours, but basically ours. The “what are you wearing?”
I miss the friendship our kids had and the memories we made not only alone, but with our families. It breaks my heart that my kids no longer wonder where you have been. I remember not knowing how to answer when they did ask. They no longer ask though.
I miss when hanging out with you was as simple as breathing. Now it feels more staged, sometimes even unnatural. We’re not what we once were, despite how hard we try. We both sense that. I’m still accepting it. I think maybe you already have.
I’m slowly realizing and coming to grips with the fact that it could never be the same. Some friendships are for a season, while others are for a lifetime is a reality. I didn’t think ours was seasonal. Our friendship wasn’t supposed to be temporary. However, it was.
While I miss so many things, I’m finding a way to move on. It’s not to say I don’t experience jealousy when I see the friendships you still have and wonder why ours seemed so easy to let go of, but the others were nurtured and clung to.
Just know I cheer you on quietly from the sideline. I celebrate your successes even if it can’t be done with you. When I hear of your rough patches, I pray for you. I pray for you even if you don’t request it. Even if it’s not what you want. Even when you don’t think you need it. Always and without fail, I’ll pray for you.
The years we shared is something I still thank God for. I’ll never not be on your team. I’ll always root for you to win in everything you attempt in life.
I hate that I have been forced to learn that life goes on without you. Even though you’re still here, our friendship is dead. A friendship that I believe I will always mourn in someway.
I’ll always love you though. I’ll love you like the best friend that you were to me for so many years, even though you’re not anymore.