Today was that day. 

That day that everything went wrong and I wasn’t good enough for anyone especially my husband and kids who deserve so much better. Today started with another restless night because of a teething baby. I had to redo the laundry in the washer and definitely hit refresh in the dryer more than any human should. I didn’t get the last three gifts wrapped before the kids came home from school because the package didn’t come in time. I didn’t make a nice dinner or have something being cooked in the crockpot ready to devour when everyone was home. I didn’t get the bathroom cleaned and I wasn’t able to run the vacuum. I wanted to clean out the van because it’s ridiculous how much crap is in there that doesn’t need to be. I forgot for the third day to pick up my son’s allergy medicine from pharmacy. I still haven’t ordered or went out and got the big boys a sweater to wear for Christmas. Why do I feel I need to do that?!? I didn’t sit down and watch the entire Pentatonix Christmas Special which my oldest so desperately wanted me to because it was 8 o clock and the hubby was home and I could finally put laundry away without being bothered. I didn’t put the boys to bed tonight because I was annoyed and instead let my husband deal with it.

Here’s what I did do. I made tags for all their wrapped gifts from Santa using cursive because the boys don’t recognize my cursive writing. I went up and down the steps 6 times trying to get the baby to take a nap before finally succumbing to the fact that I would need to lay down with him because my boy wanted his Mom and nothing else would suffice. I did get the older boys from school and got the oldest to his Bible Bowl Christmas party on time. All three boys had something somewhat snowman like on today since it was “Snowman Day” at school. I did go out tonight and get the prescription just in time for him to take his medicine before bed. I did get to watch half of the Christmas special. I did laugh today. I did love today, I even cried today. I may have not tried my best, but I certainly did try and that counts for something. I did take a hot bath at 10:45 at night because darn it, it had been a day and I needed it.

After the hot bath I did peek in on those sleeping kids and put their blankets over them. I took a deep breath and realized, I can try again tomorrow.