A year ago I didn’t know you would grow out of your 0-3 month clothes so quickly. 

A year ago I didn’t know I would arrive at the hospital and you would be born just an hour later.

A year ago I didn’t know how amazing your brothers would be with you. The depth of their love for you is beautiful to witness. 

A year ago I didn’t know you would be my biggest baby by far.

A year ago I didn’t know you would look like your oldest brother. 

A year ago I didn’t know how perfectly cute your bow tie and suspenders would look at Christmas.

A year ago I didn’t know breastfeeding for you would be so difficult.

A year ago I didn’t know you would have curly red hair.

A year ago I didn’t know your first smile would happen when you were in your great grandmother’s arms.

A year ago I didn’t know how fast the first year would go.

A year ago I didn’t know how painful natural childbirth would be.

A year ago I didn’t know that your first steps would equally excite me and crush me to the core. 

A year ago I didn’t know that you would be so content on all the adventuress we’ve taken you on.

A year ago I didn’t know that tomorrow would be your birthday. 

Yes, a year ago I didn’t know you.

How is that possible? I feel as if you have always been a part of me. You were in my bones. You were deep in my soul. I was meant to be your Mom and you were meant to be my baby. My last baby.

I apologize ahead of time for holding you a little too long, crying uncontrollably on your first day of Kindergarten, cheering too hard at future extracurriculars and calling you “my baby” even when you have babies of your own.

Happy Birthday Asher Jude! I love you!

Our first meeting 4-24-16.